I've always thought that the angle on which global warming was presented was a little scewed. I mean, quite frankly, we're not trying to save the earth. It'll take care of itself just fine when we're gone. It's saving mankind as a species that ought to be emphasized. Imagine my surprise this morning when I came across this article:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/01/28/AR2009012803318_pf.html
It finally states what really must be done. Save mankind. If we continue to turn our heads and close our eyes to what is happening to our world we will be the only casualty...probably much to the relief of mother earth.
What Al Gore is doing is necessary and noble. It's getting the rest of us to buy into it. As individuals we generally think "It's just one bottle I'm not putting in the recyling, what harm can there be?" Well, everytime you put a bottle in the trash instead of recycling put a penny in a jar. See how fast that jar fills up (and not a baby jar, a mason size jar). Do the same every time you take your car out for trips that really aren't necessary, only convenient. I'll bet that jar fills up pretty quick. Now imagine a whole warehouse full of those jars and you'll see the Goracle's point.
Everyone has to pitch in or no one is going to survive. Life as you know it won't be but the beautiful sunsets and gentle whale will go on...much better for our demise I'll bet.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
And here they are!!! The 2008 Darwin Awards!
The Darwin Awards were created to relay the stories of the most idiotic people in the world who have (thankfully) been taken out of the gene pool...thus saving us from extinction through stupidity...
Ninth Place- In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.
Eighth Place - A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who totally zoned when he ran, accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.
Seventh Place - While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8-foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
Sixth Place- Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
Fifth Place - Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
Fourth Place - After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.
Third Place - Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed.
Second Place - Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman’s cable lay near by. They secured one end around Bingham’s leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham’s foot was never located.
And the Winner Is!
German Zookeeper - Friedrich Riesfeldt, fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant’s unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him
We are safe for another year...
Ninth Place- In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.
Eighth Place - A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who totally zoned when he ran, accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.
Seventh Place - While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8-foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
Sixth Place- Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
Fifth Place - Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
Fourth Place - After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.
Third Place - Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed.
Second Place - Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman’s cable lay near by. They secured one end around Bingham’s leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham’s foot was never located.
And the Winner Is!
German Zookeeper - Friedrich Riesfeldt, fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant’s unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him
We are safe for another year...
Monday, January 12, 2009
Some Ideas for Resolving the Current Economic Crisis
Tongue and Cheek...
The world is in an economic crisis, so I hear. Well, I can't solve the world's problems but here are a few ideas for the United States:
The Auto Industry Bailout:
So Congress "lent" the auto industry billions to bail it out of imminent financial collapse. You know who has billions to spare? The Oil Industry. Didn't we read about their record breaking profits over the past year? Well, without cars, no oil, without oil, no cars. Hmmm, the oil industry could bail out one of it's biggest resources (automakers) for making a product (cars) that consumers of gas (us) buy to give them such enormous profits.
Or...
Have congress demand that the Auto industry stop making cars for one year and sell everything they've made so far. Pay the workers to not work for a year (hang with me on this one) and give them their jobs back next year. Now, you may be asking, how fair is it that these thousands of people should get paid for doing nothing? Well, look at it this way. Our economy needs some people to spend money. If even a third of these people took other jobs they'd have two incomes coming in, thus have more money to spend. Additionally, next year, the auto industry would probably experience a boom because so many people would want new cars!
The Jobs Problem:
Our jobless rate is going through the roof and throwing money at it won't work. Getting money thrown back, however, might. So tax the hell out of companies who send their jobs overseas. If it can be done by a legal worker in America it should be done in America. The tax could be the equivalent plus 2% of each salary a US worker would be making if the job stayed in America. That way it'd be cheaper to hire American workers.
The Housing Problem:
Real estate is tanking. Why? First, because people bought houses they couldn't afford. Second, because no one has money to spend on a new house. How do we get the market to get going again? See the solution to the jobs problem for this one. Plus, don't give money to people who can't afford to repay it. Common sense. No special financing, no special perks. If you can afford it on what you make (not what you hope to make, not what you're going to use if grandma dies and you inherit the money, not money from some phantom lottery ticket, real money!) buy a house. If you can't, stay at home with mom and dad, rent or live with friends (after all, what are friends for?).
Change:
Barack Obama's campaign was about change. Well, lets remember, change can hurt, change can disorient, change can confuse. There are always growing pains with change. We've been living with the same problems for so long that a change might be frightening to some, not fast enough for others and may seem just plain unnecessary to a few. Well, buckle down for the next year or so and give change a chance. Who knows? Maybe there will be a light at the end of this tunnel. Otherwise, keep your car tuned up, your house in good order and stay in school...or go back.
Hope you're smiling!
The world is in an economic crisis, so I hear. Well, I can't solve the world's problems but here are a few ideas for the United States:
The Auto Industry Bailout:
So Congress "lent" the auto industry billions to bail it out of imminent financial collapse. You know who has billions to spare? The Oil Industry. Didn't we read about their record breaking profits over the past year? Well, without cars, no oil, without oil, no cars. Hmmm, the oil industry could bail out one of it's biggest resources (automakers) for making a product (cars) that consumers of gas (us) buy to give them such enormous profits.
Or...
Have congress demand that the Auto industry stop making cars for one year and sell everything they've made so far. Pay the workers to not work for a year (hang with me on this one) and give them their jobs back next year. Now, you may be asking, how fair is it that these thousands of people should get paid for doing nothing? Well, look at it this way. Our economy needs some people to spend money. If even a third of these people took other jobs they'd have two incomes coming in, thus have more money to spend. Additionally, next year, the auto industry would probably experience a boom because so many people would want new cars!
The Jobs Problem:
Our jobless rate is going through the roof and throwing money at it won't work. Getting money thrown back, however, might. So tax the hell out of companies who send their jobs overseas. If it can be done by a legal worker in America it should be done in America. The tax could be the equivalent plus 2% of each salary a US worker would be making if the job stayed in America. That way it'd be cheaper to hire American workers.
The Housing Problem:
Real estate is tanking. Why? First, because people bought houses they couldn't afford. Second, because no one has money to spend on a new house. How do we get the market to get going again? See the solution to the jobs problem for this one. Plus, don't give money to people who can't afford to repay it. Common sense. No special financing, no special perks. If you can afford it on what you make (not what you hope to make, not what you're going to use if grandma dies and you inherit the money, not money from some phantom lottery ticket, real money!) buy a house. If you can't, stay at home with mom and dad, rent or live with friends (after all, what are friends for?).
Change:
Barack Obama's campaign was about change. Well, lets remember, change can hurt, change can disorient, change can confuse. There are always growing pains with change. We've been living with the same problems for so long that a change might be frightening to some, not fast enough for others and may seem just plain unnecessary to a few. Well, buckle down for the next year or so and give change a chance. Who knows? Maybe there will be a light at the end of this tunnel. Otherwise, keep your car tuned up, your house in good order and stay in school...or go back.
Hope you're smiling!
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